Mar 7, 2013
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Examples of Dirty Talking to a Guy

Examples of Dirty Talking to a Guy
Examples of Dirty Talking to a Guy

You’re probably not a porn star. You may not like watching porn. That’s fair, many women don’t. But guess what? Your boyfriend likes it, and watches it, probably on a regular basis. And one of the things he likes best about it are the oral acrobatics performed by the actresses. I’m not talking about marathon oral sex here (well, I’m not only talking about marathon oral sex), I’m talking about talking dirty.

Talking dirty for women has a number of important and useful functions. It can spice up a lagging sex life, it can be a fun departure from your normally prim vocabulary, it’s a chance to let loose and be a bad girl. And best of all, it’ll make him harder than a dozen Viagras. Talking dirty isn’t easy for everyone, so get some tips, tricks and advice from the guide below.

Talking dirty for women common concerns
Talking dirty for women apprehension #1
I’m afraid he’ll laugh at me.

That’s the main worry – but if you can pull off your not-so-sweet nothings with passion and poise, you don’t have to worry about him laughing so much as exploding. If you’re turned on, he will be too, and chuckling will be the last thing on his mind.
Talking dirty for women apprehension #2
I’m uncomfortable with swearing.

You can get nasty without having a potty-mouth. You can describe what’s going on and what you want your man to be doing without talking like a sailor. Be more descriptive and talk about your fantasies. It is totally acceptable to refer to his penis as ‘it’ even when it’s standing right next to you. And “do” can pretty easily be interpreted as “f*ck” when you’re in the act.
Talking dirty for women apprehension #3
I’m way too shy.

You know, I was too. For years, I couldn’t bring myself to utter so much as a “that’s right, do me” even though I loved hearing dirty talk. Being shy is totally normal. You just need to find your inner slut. That’s right, I said it, and you’ve got one, even if you’ve never let her out. Deep inside you there’s a filthy-mouthed mistress just waiting to leap into your bedroom and scorch the ears off of Mr. Fabulous. Believe in her, and she’ll help you overcome your shyness. A little role playing never hurt anyone, and it can be easier to let a “character” do the dirty talking for you.

Talking dirty for women: how and when
If it’s not part of your normal sex-life, talking dirty is something that should be introduced after you’re already sexually comfortable with your partner, maybe a few months into the relationship. Start with a little encouragement during a good sex session and gauge his response. There’s the occasional guy who doesn’t like to hear nasty words coming out of his sweetie’s mouth, but if he gets excited when you breathe “that’s right, deeper, harder” into his ear when you’re going at it, you can be fairly certain that he’ll be open to more colorful language later on.

Once you’ve determined that you’re lover won’t be looking at you in horror when you start with the not-so-sweet nothings, you can start using rougher language to tell him what you want, what you like and how you like it. (See below for examples.) Get him involved, by asking in a sultry voice “now if you could do anything to me – what would it be?” It goes both ways, and you might find it a huge turn on to hear him say dirty, filthy things to you.

Talking dirty is sexy
When talking dirty, it’s a time to forget your upbringing and say all the words that, at one time, would have gotten your mouth washed out with soap. In most cases, the coarser and more graphic your language, the better. There’s more information on what words to use and what to avoid below. Sexy language doesn’t have to remain behind closed doors, either. If you’re a little more daring, take it out of the bedroom to get him thinking about the bedroom all day. Try sliding up to your man at a party and whispering into his ear: “I can’t wait until we get home. I want you so bad I may have to rip your clothes off in the kitchen.” He’ll get so fired up you’ll have to remind him to drive carefully!

Talking dirty via text
Technology is your friend when it comes to dirty talk, and sometimes it can be way easier for new dirty talkers to write dirty than talk dirty. So if you’re not ready for the full-on oral plunge (pun intended), use one of our modern conveniences! Sending him an X-rated text (sext, if you will) while he’s at work will keep him thinking about you all afternoon. Or, if you’re literary minded, think up a multiple part fantasy where you and he are the main characters and send it to him in instalments. (Make sure to send it to his personal email – not his work one.)

Talking dirty: free samples
Keep in mind that talking dirty seems awful when written down, pretty much without exception. Everything below will sound much better when said in the heat of passion than it looks written on the screen.
Talking dirty: softcore

“I love it when you put it deep inside me.”
“You make me so wet.”
“You’re so big, it makes me hot just to see it.”
Talking dirty: hardcore
“That’s it, f*ck me like a whore.”
“Come on, put that big —- in my —-.”
“You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna suck your —- until you —- all over me.”

Talking dirty: avoid corny and clinical terminology
A man once told me he wanted to “sample my honey pot”. Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew! I kept thinking of Winnie the Pooh. Other words to avoid:

Love staff/rod
Man marmalade
Glorious funbags
Playing the flesh flute
Yodelling in the canyon

You get the picture. You’re trying to get aroused here. Don’t kill it with a phrase that will have your partner feel like an actor in a porno written by an 12-year-old. As mentioned above, curse words are fine, pr*ck, d*ck, t*ts, c*nt, f*ck, and the rest of the colorful language spectrum. Make sure not to be too clinical: “Oh darling, I can’t wait for you to put your erect penis into my moist vagina” It doesn’t sound good. Use dirty words.

Talking dirty: other tips & tricks
If you’re nervous, practice talking dirty solo first, in front of a mirror. Make sure that you can say the words without blushing or clenching up. Think of what kind of dirty talk would turn you on. Chances are it will get him off, too. If you’re having a creative lapse, get yourself some erotica and read it aloud to yourself (or your partner) for inspiration. Black Lace Books are my personal favorite or go to for some free stuff. You can always get him to start it. Say, “Baby, it turns me on when you talk dirty to me, want to help get me in the mood?” He may have been worried you wouldn’t like it, and held back – give him a chance to unleash his inner man-slut!

Talking dirty for women everywhere
Remember: Talking dirty is all about having some fun with your partner. Don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But push your boundaries a little bit; most men really do love a foul-mouthed lady in the bedroom. And even if it doesn’t end up working out for you, your man will really appreciate the effort you put into pleasing him. And you can always try again later! Examples of Dirty Talking to a Guy

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